Feeling Unheard: The Hidden Cause of Angry Outbursts

If you’ve ever had the experience of feeling unheard, you know how incredibly frustrating it can be. You try to share your thoughts or feelings, but they fall on deaf ears. It’s as if you’re not even there. This can lead to a range of negative emotions, including anger and frustration. Let’s explore one of the hidden causes of angry outbursts and offer some solutions for overcoming this problem.

When we feel like no one is listening to us, the frustration builds up and we explode with whatever means we think we can use to get attention. Some people scream, some go cold, silent, and distant, and some threaten or have ugly facial expressions.

We often explode on the safest ones that we think will still love us amid our mess. This can include our children.  The problem is that if we push them too often, we put those relationships in jeopardy. 

Here are some reasons why you may feel like no one is listening to you:

1) You may have trained your children to not answer right away by repeating yourself over and over until they respond. Then you explode because they are only doing what they were trained to do.

2) You might not be a good listener yourself, which makes others not want to listen to you either.

3) You may be married to a passive spouse who leaves you feeling unprotected and alone.  Often passive spouses are consumed with their thoughts and don’t hear or respond.

4) You may have been taught that children are to be seen and not heard, which made you stifle your emotions and feelings, and now you find it difficult to express yourself to others.

5) You may be stuck in a negative communication cycle (gossip, complaining, grumbling) which has turned people away. Now you need to overcome that cycle and prove yourself again.

 If you find yourself feeling unheard, there are some things that you can do to change the situation. First, take a step back and examine your communication style. Are you repeating yourself? Is your tone of voice respectful? 

Next, try to be a better listener yourself. Make it a point to hear what the other person is saying. 

Lastly, try to find ways to open up and express yourself in a healthy way. 

If you’re feeling anger and frustration, take some time to cool down before responding. This will help you to avoid saying or doing something that you’ll regret later.

If you’re struggling with feeling unheard, know that you’re not alone. This is a common problem that can be overcome with some effort and patience. With a little bit of work, you can learn to communicate in a way that will be heard loud and clear.

Do you ever feel unheard? How do you deal with it? We’d love to hear from you in the comments!

If anger has become a problem, I’d love to help! Sign up for an Anointed to Soar session to get to the root and find freedom!